BULLYING

Dear DL,

I hate my new school. I left my old school because of bullying. I didn't think high school would be so hard. It's nothing like you see on tv. Girls get meaner and guys get more nasty. I can't talk about it with my mom. She's been stressed out enough with trying to find a steady job and I feel like it's my fault since we had to move. I caused unnecessary stress in my family and things are getting worse every day. I don't want to keep on having to go through this. Three girls at school constantly tease me. They are beautiful with cute boyfriends and I am fat and ugly. Last week one of the girls had her boyfriend come talk to me. He pretended to find me pretty and got really close to my face. My heart was racing. He is so cute and I do like him. He acted like he was going to kiss me. He ended up burping really loud in my face. They recorded the whole thing and it went viral around the whole school. Everyone now calls me barf face. I cry everyday. I tried talking to my councilor at school to get some kind of help. It turns out, the councilor is the mother of the boy who burped in my face. She told me that there are no laws to belching and it's not like she could suspend someone for burping, that burping is a part of life. She doesn't understand that it goes beyond burping. They throw stuff at me and constantly call me names. They never leave me alone. My grades are slipping and I can't even focus on my work at school. I hate my life. Noone gives a shit about me. I don't know how much more I can handle.

Thanks for writing in. I am truly sorry you are going through this. Do not think for one minute it is your fault. Your mother chosing to move was a very good decision. That's what a parent is supposed to do...Protect their children. Unfortunately, bullying is everywhere. No matter what state, school, job, or even what age you are, you won't escape it. There are to many ignorant people in this world that have low self-esteem about themselves, so they pick on other people to make themselves feel better. Nobody deserves to be bullied. I'm proud on your decision to go seek help from your councilor. It's unfortuante that your councilor is an uneducated person, and should not be working as a councilor at your school. I want you to know that you are not alone. There are so many people in this world being bullied. You are beautiful! You are strong! And you will make it through this! Here are some forms of action you can take that will help protect you...

1. KEEP A JOURNAL

As of now, keep a journal (using your phone camera, audio memos, notepad, or other apps), and start documenting everything with date, time, names, location, list of witnesses and the incident that took place. This journal needs to show the pattern of the repeated, targeted bullying and harassment that is occurring.

2. PARENT INVOLVEMENT

I know that you do not want to involve your mother, but I strongly suggest a parent's involvement. Since the councilor does not seem to be to concerned, your mother needs to help find other allies and advocates who can assist with this matter. Your mother can help find local statewide advocacy groups that might have additional information to help you.

3. LEGAL ADVICE

Schools in each state have rules and regulations regarding bullying. Research them. These policies should list prohibited behaviors and indicate the response protocols that should be implemented when these behaviors are observed (documented). You may need to file a formal report in order to initiate these protocols. If it get's physical, you may want to make a report to local law-enforcement. Since your councilor did absolutely nothing, I'm sure there are some guidelines that need to be flagged before her face, to remind her how serious bullying can be. It is the school's responsibility to act on the matter of bullying, if they fail to do so, there are some repercussions that will be taking place. Have your mother look into the school's policy on bullying, then have her call an attorney for free legal advice. Whether it's a media scare with the news, or the mention of an attorney, schools do not want to have a lawsuit or their names tainted in the local papers.

4. HIGHER AUTHORITY

Go up the chain. Go to the principal. Contact the State Department of Education if you believe your complaint is not being handled properly. If federal laws are involved, you can contact the Office for Civil Rights at the Federal Department of Education and file a complaint there as well. The American Civil Liberties Union has state chapters that may be able to assist you on handling your process.

5. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF

You are not the problem! The ignorant people harrassing you are the problem. I understand that this process can be exhausting, depressing and make you feel unloved. Please always remember how important and loved you are. Never stop believing that you can't make a difference because you can and you will! Karma always comes back to bullies. Those same teenagers bullying you now, will end up working for you in the future. You will rise above them!

6. CONSIDER ALL YOUR OPTIONS

There are other options to complete school. With technology booming, it makes it easier to be homeschooled and finish all your courses online. Depending on your pace of work, you may be able to achieve graduating early if you are able to complete all your required courses through online classes. Charter schools, if you have any in your area, are another option. Charter schools usually offer less students, smaller class sizes, and more one on one time for your studies with your teacher.

7. FIND POSTIVE PEOPLE

Whether it's friends, relatives or a church group, find someone you can talk to. Talking always helps. Never bottle up what your feeling. Dirty Laundry also always has a LIVE CHAT available if you need to talk. However, it's important to have family and friends physically by your side for support.

On a final note, no matter who you are, how old you are, your nationality, how you dress or how you talk, do not allow anyone to put you down for it! Bullying is not okay! Be confident and stand tall. Take care of yourself so you can feel good about yourself. Gather support from trusted adults and friends. Do not walk alone to your classes or anywhere a bully could possibly strike. Try to avoid the bullies as much as you can. Learn to stand up for yourself. Stand tall and look your bully right in the eyes. Do not live your life in fear. If you go about your day, thinking about all of the ways that you can be bullied, from being tripped in the cafeteria to being laughed at in class, then you are going to spend your high school life being afraid of everything that can happen. Be prepared, but fearless. Consider taking some self-defense classes. While you should never attempt to fight a bully, it is a last resort if you are out of options and put into a bad situation, and there is no other choice. Taking a few self-defense classes can help teach you how to defend yourself. It will also help boost your self-esteem and your confidence. Always belive in yourself. If you know who you are and have faith in yourself, then you know you will get through this becuase of the strong person that you are. Never let the people that are bullying you see you cry. Bullies prey on their victimes emotions. Do not let them get the best of you. You will get through this and be victorious! You are strong! Look how far youv'e come. Your future will hold greatness for you and karma will bite hard on all the people who ever picked on you.

#BULLYING #SCHOOL #ABUSE #TEEN