INNOCENCE LOST...CYBER HARASSMENT

Dear DL,

Me and my bestie had a sleepover two weeks ago. We are used to showering together because of cheerleading and gymnastics, so like always, we jumped in the shower together. No gay shit! We're just super close and have been friends since we were in elementary. We were being dumb and acting silly as we always do, and took video's on our cell phones of us singing and dancing while we were in the shower. It was nothing bad. The following Monday, I noticed a lot of strange looks and giggles as I walked through the hallway of my school. My boyfriend was super mad at me and I didn't know why. It turns out, the video me and my bestie took went viral through social media, and it seemed that everyone at school had a copy. People even made screen shots of it, making photos from the video. There was even a couple of different versions to the video floating around, that other people edited and made it look like a porno with added sounds and music. Me and my bestie couldn't understand how the video leaked out. The only thing we could think of, is the bitch that hates us in gymnastic class, my boyfriend's ex. My phone was in my gymnastics bag, but the day I went to class it wasn't locked becuase of my little sister playing with the games on my phone. I took off the password protection so she wouldn't get locked out, and forgot to put it back on. To make matters worse, by the end of the week it was sent to my principle and all the administrative staff. Our parents were called in and totally freaked out. My mom now thinks me and my bestie are lesbians and has put me in counseling, and stuck me in an after school program at our church. Me and my bestie were kicked off of cheer because we were told that the school can't have any form of bad representation. We're not allowed to be friends anymore over something so stupid. I feel like I'm being punished for something that I didn't send out. And the people responsible for sending it had no punishment what so ever. My boyfriend's ex posted on social media stuff about me, with the video, saying that I deserved everything that's happening. She also had her new boyfriend advertise the video of me and my bestie all over his social media, trying to get money for the video, on who ever watches it. Why are those people being held responsible? I just want my life back to normal. I want some freakin justice. What can I do?

Thank you for writing in. With social media, once it's out there, it's out there. Your school handled the situation poorly. I agree with you, the people who sent the video from your phone should be held responsible. However, how do you prove who sent it? Especially when it came from your phone. Are there any camera's in your gymnastics class? There are laws that prohibit sexual explicit videos, especially if your under the age of 18, that should result into an investigation by your local police department. Look up your state statues of cyberbullying. Even if no criminal statue on cyberbullying exists in your area, law enforcement should not ignore or dismiss the issue. Your parents need to get the poice involved immediately. You mentioned that your boyfriends ex has a new man who is trying to sale your video on the internet. He could get in major trouble for soliciting any form of sexual content, especially if you and your bestie are under age. Also, check your school policy for cheerleading. Although it's unfair that you and your bestie got kicked off, majority of schools have strict guidelines when it comes to any after school activities. Your parents reaction was a normal one, but not necessarily wise. Most parents don't see the whole story, they just react to what they are being told. Although your parents are just being protective parents, they need to try and handle this situation from a legal perspective. Although counseling and church can help you emotionally, they cannot help take the videos and photos off the internet. Here's what you can and can't do about the situation...

1. TALK TO YOUR PARENTS

Have a mature one on one sit down with your parent's discussing the whole situation. Explain what you want to see happen...JUSTICE!

2. SEEK LEGAL ADVICE

You and your parents need to find an attorney who can offer some form of legal advice to weigh your options with the whole situation.

3. JUSTICE SYSTEM

Depending on what your legal consultation says, you can take your complaint to one of the justice system's two worlds: Criminal or civil.

4. LAWS

In states with specific cyber stalking and harassment laws, victims can press criminal charges against their online stalkers and harassers, (the people slandering your video online, and the one's trying to sale it),

5. REPORTING SYSTEM

Check online for ways to slow the spread of the video. Some software/websites may offer a reporting system that allows victims to identify their images and request they be rendered unsearchable.

On a final note, I'm sorry your going through this. Social media can be unfair and unjust. It's how you handle it that brings peace to your mind and justice to your surroundings. You and your bestie are the victims to this story. Next time, think before you snap a photo or take a video. Even if it's innocent, if it's something you don't want others to see then don't take it. Once it's out there you may never get it back. Stand tall! You will get through this!

#CYBERBULLYING #CYBERSTALKING #CYBERHARASSMENT #TEEN